The Real Meaning of Change

By: Indie Bollman

As we talked about in “Feedback Part I – Giving it Effectively”, feedback really is the thing that makes for gr

Feedback can be the breakfast of champions in the workplace for all levels. Handled the right way, it provides real-time guidance on what someone can improve and serves as a powerful tool for continuous development. Handled the wrong way, however, it spreads negativity and does anything but encourage improvement. So, what's the best way to go about it? I’m glad you asked.

When It’s Wrong

If not coached properly, feedback can be delivered in a way that makes the recipient feel reprimanded. While that may be necessary at times, delivering feedback in a way that is hurtful (whether intentional or not) won't encourage anyone to improve.

The use of terms like “constructive criticism” does little to help. Anyone hearing that term braces for bad news. The words “constructive criticism” themselves aren’t inherently negative, but they’ve been used so long as a precursor to unpleasant news that they carry a sense of dread. When someone hears, “May I offer you some constructive criticism?” they don't expect the next words to be, “You’re fantastic.”

When It’s Right

When handled correctly, feedback is simply a message. It has no sting and is intended to be helpful. It doesn’t need to be framed as positive or negative; it’s just the truth. When delivered with the intention to help, it becomes a welcome and sought-after tool for improvement. The recipient will sense the genuine nature behind it.

How to Give It Effectively

1. Drop the Headline

   
   

   Skip the “constructive criticism” preamble and just deliver the feedback. There's no need for extra emotion, body language, or filler words. If your intention is to help, that will come through naturally and be felt by the recipient.

2. Check Your Intention

   
   

   Make sure feedback isn’t given in haste or anger. It’s always best to pause and use emotional intelligence to ensure that overreactions don’t affect the delivery.

3. Drop the History

   
   

   If you’ve had conflicts with the person in the past, leave it out of the conversation. Old issues don’t belong in a discussion aimed at encouraging growth. Save those for another time—or, better yet, let them go entirely if they’re no longer relevant.

4. Be Calm, Speak Calmly

When delivering feedback, ensure your voice is calm and your tone conversational. Speaking too loudly or too quickly can signal that there's something more behind the message. Also, be mindful of your gestures—avoid excessive or exaggerated movements—and refrain from doing anything disruptive, like clicking or tapping a pen during the conversation. Even if you're nervous, dial it down to keep the focus on the feedback and its constructive nature.

Feedback is a powerful coaching tool for everyone, including teams and direct reports, and should be encouraged. It can foster trust and openness within teams. To make feedback truly effective, those giving it should be coached on the best approaches, ensuring that it’s always delivered with the right intention—whether the message is praise or a call for improvement.

Stay tuned for Feedback Part II – How to Receive it Effectively.