Feedback Part II – Receiving It Effectively

As discussed in “Feedback Part I – Giving it Effectively,” feedback drives great workplaces, growth, and collaboration.

Equally important is receiving feedback effectively—managing your approach, reactions, and emotions to interpret the message constructively.

While feedback can be a chance to grow and improve, it can also sting, especially when it strikes a nerve or comes unexpectedly. The key is to view it as a tool for growth and refinement.

So, how can you make the most of the feedback you receive? Let’s dive in.

When It Feels Wrong

There are times when the feedback you’re receiving doesn’t land well.  Maybe it feels harsh, a little too critical, or even unfair.  While it’s easy to become defensive in these moments, the best thing you can do is pause. Resist the urge to argue or shut down.  Even feedback that’s delivered poorly might just carry a nugget of truth worth exploring.

Remember, feedback often says as much about the giver as it does about you. If it’s not delivered well, it may reflect the other person’s lack of skill or emotional intelligence, not necessarily your performance.

When It Feels Right

When feedback is delivered with good intentions and clarity, it can be a game-changer. You may find yourself nodding along, thinking, Yes, I can work on that.  Even then, it’s important to approach it thoughtfully.  

Acknowledge the points being made and take time to reflect before acting on them. Growth happens when you engage with feedback intentionally—not just by agreeing for the sake of moving on.

How to Receive Feedback Effectively

1. Listen Without Interrupting

   
   

   When someone offers you feedback, resist the temptation to jump in and defend yourself.  Remember, you are there to listen.  Let them finish their thoughts.  Interrupting not only cuts off the conversation but also signals that you may not be open to hearing what they have to say.

   
   

2. Ask for Clarification

   
   

   If something doesn’t make sense or feels vague, ask for specifics. “Can you give me an example?” or “What would improvement in this area look like to you?” These questions show that you’re taking the feedback seriously and genuinely want to understand.

3. Separate Emotion from Information

   
   

   Feedback can trigger an emotional response, especially if it touches on something sensitive. Take a breath and focus on the content of the message rather than how it was delivered. This helps you extract useful information without getting bogged down by feelings of hurt or frustration.

4. Say Thank You

   
   

   It might not be your first thought to thank someone for pointing where you need to improve, but a little gratitude goes a long way.  A simple “Thanks for sharing this with me” acknowledges the effort it took for the person to provide feedback and sets a positive tone for future conversations.

5. Reflect Before Reacting

   
   

   Process the feedback for a few moments, or even a few days. Ask yourself:

   • Is this something I’ve heard before?

   • Does it align with my personal or professional goals?

   • How can I use this to improve?

   Reflection allows you to approach the feedback with a clear head and a plan for moving forward.

6. Act on It

   
   

   Feedback is only as valuable as what you do with it. Create a plan to address the points raised, whether it’s building a new skill, adjusting your approach, or simply being mindful of certain behaviors. Following through not only demonstrates growth but also encourages others to provide helpful feedback in the future.

A Word on Mindset

Viewing feedback as an opportunity rather than a critique can change everything. The best leaders, performers, and professionals embrace feedback as a chance to learn, and improve. Even when the delivery isn’t perfect, there’s almost always something to gain.

Learn to see feedback as a gift—not a personal attack—and you’ll find it easier to listen for the pieces of it that can be transformative and is often exactly what you need to grow.